The Cynic Says……

Ok… this is bullshit… 7am and I’m still awake. wtf? Thankfully it’s Sunday, so I don’t have to work or anything. I’m gonna end up sleeping all day. I have to be at work at 1pm tomorrow (Monday), so I’ll be ok. I’ve actually had a lot of weird random thoughts going through my brain the past few hours. First off, Brad Pitt is an awesome actor. I got to thinking about some of my favorite movies, and he stars in at least 3 of them (Fight Club, Se7en, Ocean’s Eleven). I liked “The Mexican” as well, but I wouldn’t put it in my short list of absolute favorites. If anyone would like to dispute his acting talent, I’d love to hear it. Also, I’ve come to the conclusion that I could NEVER date a girl that does not use decent grammar. This has become one of my biggest pet peeves, to be perfectly honest. Hearing someone ask me “where ya headed to” reminds me a lot of fingernails on a chalkboard. This sort of thing seems to be quite prevalant down here and in all honesty, I can’t help but think the person is an idiot when I hear it come out of his or her mouth. If you have to ask me what’s wrong with that sentence, then you’re probably one of those people that actually talks like that and, hence, one of the people at whom this comment is directed. Also, people who don’t know the difference between groups of homophones make me want to puke. If you don’t know the difference between “no” and “know”… or “too”, “to”, and “two’… or “they’re”, “there”, and “their”, then I will GLADLY inform you and point out each and every time you fuck up using one of those words. I’d also like to take a few seconds to say that I would fuck the SHIT out of the Olsen twins… both of them… one right after the other… they’re absolutely hot as fuck. No tits, but still hot as fuck. I’d also like to say that I fucking HATE kids… hate them… ugh… Kent had to babysit a 3 year old today and by the time she was ready to leave, I swear to god I was ready to just rip her voicebox out. Ok, so I’d never really do such a thing to another human being, but you get the idea. She was annoying as fuck… asks “why” to EVERYTHING. Not to mention she talks with that backwoods Union County accent, which in and of itself is enough to make me want to vomit. Yes, I live in the south and am appalled by southern accents. Go figure. I just can’t stand the fact that half the people down here don’t even open their mouths enough to enunciate properly. Hence, “Did you eat” gets miraculously transformed into “jeet”. “What are you doing?” somehow becomes “ch’doin’?” I’ve lived here 20+ years and still can only fully understand maybe 60% of what I hear. The other 40% I either have to say “wtf did you say?” or just run it through my redneck to English translator a few times to see what I can make of it. In my training class @ work there’s a girl that just moved down here from Chicago and I swear I could sit and listen to her talk 24/7. She enunciates all her words and actually uses proper grammar. Such a breath of fresh air, I must say. There’s also this Hispanic woman from NY in my class… I like the way she talks, too… she talks really fast, which is really nice. Plus I just love Hispanic accents, anyway. If I’m not mistaken, she’s of Dominican descent. I can’t remember exactly, but I do know that she’s a Caribbean hispanic, as opposed to being Mexican or Spanish. I tend to perfer the Caribbean hispanic accent over the Mexican accent. I’ve talked to a Cuban chick from Miami and it’s just so incredibly sexy. Oh, well.. now that I’ve blurted out all this random shit, I think it’s time for bed.