The Cynic Says……

Yeah, really… no updates all week. I guess I had nothing important to post, or at least nothing I THOUGHT was important. My site has become rather stale and I can’t think of any new ideas for things to put on it, unfortunately. My blog has become about all that updates on my page anymore. I suppose I could add more stuff to the love/hate pages, but all of that’s been covered here in my blog. About the only interesting thing that’s been going on lately is my roommate and his newfound girlfriend. He seems really happy, which is cool as hell; At least SOMEONE is getting somewhere… I was starting to think this house was fucking cursed or something. I haven’t gotten any ass in like a month, and the last chick I nailed is now “Brandon’s gurl” (again moving a bit quickly… not even a month and she’s already “committed”). I guess I’m just weird… slow, perhaps. Not sure, but I just can’t even remotely begin to even consider being “committed to a girl unless we’ve been talking/dating/fucking/seeing each other for like 4-5-6 months or so. I guess maybe I’m just terribly cautious and I’m driven by my mind instead of my heart. I know I come across as “cold” sometimes, but I’m just not one to come pouring out with affection. I’m not jealous or posessive… I don’t require much attention, and I’m not the smothering type. I’m just as happy sitting next to a girl just talking as I am sitting with my arms wrapped around her and my head on her shoulder and such. I guess I’m not very touchy-feely. I’d just as soon connect with a girl on an intellectual level as a physical one. I don’t like public display of affection… If a girl is out in public with me, she’s lucky if I hold her hand and maybe give her a quick kiss when no one’s looking. And ya know, if I spend more than 3 days in a row with a girl, I swear to god I’m ready to strangle the bitch and knock her teeth down her throat… ok, not quite that bad, but you get the idea. I’m ready for her to be gone. I gotta have my damn space! I guess the easiest way to put it is that I’m simply a thinker and not a feeler. I overanalyze everything and never let my heart have a say in my decisions. It’s probably not the best way to be, as it tends to make me a bit more uptight about things (love in particular). Unfortunately, I can’t forsee myself changing anytime soon. Oh, well… on to the next subject… Oh, this one girl at work that I’ve been just utterly drooling over. Her name’s Jennifer… she’s a bit thinner than most girls I’d ever go after, but there’s just something about her that drives me fucking bananas. Anyway, she was about to leave Friday night and had to run to the bathroom before she left. Well, on her way back to her desk, which leads her right by my desk, I stopped her and informed her that she had one of the most beautiful smiles I’d ever seen. Surprisingly, she smiled at me and said thank you. She actually seemed genuinely flattered by the compliment. I dunno, I suppose I expected a “heh, thanks” kinda reaction from a girl that hot. Especially coming from someone who’s less than attractive. I dunno what got into me Friday but it was by far the most I’ve ever talked to her. I felt kinda dumb trying to keep up a conversation with her because the whole time I’m thinking “goddamn this girl’s so far outta my league, what the hell am I doing?”, but still I feel a bit better for having actually talked to her instead of just silently drooling over her everytime she walked by. Ironically enough, she’s probably not the girl I’d pick first if I could have any female there. By far it would have to be this one redhead there… She’s built almost perfectly (about a size 8 or 10, I’d guess) and SHE’S A FUCKING REDHEAD! Plus, she has a dimple when she smiles… omg, a redhead with dimples *melts*. I don’t talk to her much, mostly because I get all nervous and stupid when she comes around. She loves to drink, which is a big plus in my book. Realistically, I don’t think I’d stand much of a chance in hell with her, but I can still dream, right? Oh well… off to search for reasons why my sound card’s control panel refuses to work with the new driver update. I’ve not seen anyone else with this problem, so I find it rather annoying.