The Cynic Says……

Alright… time to post a little before I hit the sack… A few other noteworthy things happened last night that I forgot to mention in my last post. I met up with an old friend named Missy last night at Joes… I hadn’t seen her in damn well forever because she’d moved away to New Mexico to be with some dude that she was engaged to. Amusingly enough, I said something about it and she informed me that she was no longer engaged, but that she had “met a hottie” (apparently that night). She went with us to IHOP after we left Joes (this is our normal ritual) and ended up getting strawberry syrup poured all over her by Nay Nay, which was most amusing. Apparently the lid was not screwed on very well and so when Nay Nay went to pick the thing up by the handle (which is part of the lid), it came apart and dumped all over poor Missy. As usual with just about every time I see Missy, I ended up playing with her hair. I dunno what it is about her hair, but I always end up playing with it. It’s really really soft and fine and it feels like silk. Pretty cool shit Simply put, I was drunk as fuck and really didn’t care. I was so drunk that when I got home, I just laid down and grabbed a blanket… When I woke up, I realized that I had not grabbed my normal blanket; in fact I had grabbed Linn’s big ass red blanket. It’s actually an electric blanket, but she doesn’t have the cord to it… it’s still warm as fuck, though! I woke up feeling like complete ass, but didn’t puke and was able to eat just fine at about 8:30 or so. That brings us up to tonight, when I went to Joes again. I stayed sober tonight, however. I drank last night and didn’t feel like having a hangover 2 days in a row, especially since I have to work tomorrow. There seemed to be an overabundance of beautiful women there tonight for some reason. I didn’t even get a chance to talk to the redhead at all tonight. I saw her a couple of times, but I just don’t go out of my way to talk to people, so I figured if she didn’t come to me, I wasn’t going after her. I don’t even think we made eye contact all night either. I guess she’s a lot more attractive when I’m drunk… I dunno. This girl Jenna and her friend Nikki were there tonight as well… Jenna is one of the 459827435897234905743985 girls Steve is trying to get ass from right about now. Nikki is her unbelievably cute pregnant friend. She’s already got one kid by some Mexican dude and now she’s got this one on the way from an Asian or some shit. Hey, while you’re at it, might as well have one by a nigger and a white boy too. The Census bureau would have a field day with that one. It’s a shame because she’s cute as fuck and actually has an ok personality, but she’s got more baggage than O’Hare Airport! I know it’s corny and cliche, but looks aren’t everything. One of my other friends was back in town from college… I hadn’t seen her in a few months since she’d gone away, and well, let’s just say that while she’s been away at college she’s “filled out” quite a bit. Dunno wtf they’ve been feeding her over there but I sure as hell could stand to gain about 20 pounds too. Her stomach’s still pretty much flat, but her ass has blown up quite a bit. I think I’m gonna get her a “wide load” sign for christmas to put back there. Amusingly enough, I wasn’t going to drink tonight, but Bethany just walked up to me, climbed up on my lap and proceeded to give me 2 shots without my permission. I mean, it just totally fucking sucks when the most beautiful girl you’ve ever met walks up to you, jumps up on your lap and puts her tits in your face. I mean, I can’t believe she could be so inconsiderate and do such a HORRIBLE thing to me. *end of sarcastic interlude* Anyway, I ended up not having to pay for the shots because while she was about to give Nay Nay a shot, a fight broke out and some dude smashed a beer bottle over some other dude’s head about 10 feet from us and we got sprayed with glass and beer. Talk about fucking GAY. Fucker was bleeding like a bitch too. What kinda damn pussy smashes a beer bottle over the back of someone else’s head? Put the bottle down and beat him down like a real man would… with your fists. I dunno, I don’t fight at all but I think that was just plain shady as hell. Eventually we all left and went to IHOP, but nothing interesting transpired there, so here I am now posting this before I hit the sack. Nothing else post-worthy seems to come to mind right now, so I suppose I’ll go to sleep now.