The Cynic Says……

Here’s a few tasteless jokes I’ve seen/heard around… most of which I’ve already told my friends, but I find them amusing anyway, so here goes:

Q: Why do women have legs?
A: Ever seen the mess a slug makes?

Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
A: So when you pull their tits, they won’t shit on you

Q: What’s blue and doesn’t fit?
A: A dead epileptic

Q: What’s the difference between circumcision and crucifixion?
A: In crucifixion, they throw out the whole jew.

Q: Have you heard about the new German microwave oven?
A: It seats 500.

Q: What’s the definition of making love?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her

Q: What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.

Q: Why couldn’t Hellen Keller drive?
A: Because she was female!

Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.

Q: What does a toilet and a woman have in common?
A: Without the hole in the middle they aren’t worth shit.

Q: What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A: No one to talk to during orgasm.

Q: Why are hangovers better than women?
A: Hangovers will go away.

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So we’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: What’s a wife?
A: An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done

Q: Who designed the female genitals?
A: The city council. Who else would put a playground right next door to a sewer?