The Cynic Says……

Oh joy, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Whoopidy-fucking-doo. Seriously… I don’t spend time with my family so it’s really a pointless holiday for me. I don’t speak to my mom and all my other family is out of state. Not only that, I don’t really understand the point of Thanksgiving. What are we giving thanks for? The fact that we came over and killed a shitload of Native Americans, stole their land and displaced them to other areas just so we could have a new place to live? Yeah, THAT’S something to celebrate! White man pissed off the Native Americans; they gave us tobacco as payback. Ouch. Anyway, I’ll stop before I go off on some tirade that nobody’s going to read. Needless to say, I’m not really a holiday kind of person. I don’t celebrate Christmas or Easter or really even the fourth of July. At least the 4th has SOME significance. Christmas and easter are Christian holidays that don’t have any real historical significance (they’re chronologically mis-placed, technically speaking) and I’m not a Christian so I don’t even feel as though I technically should be celebrating them. Christmas is especially retarded since you spend $500 in gifts for other people and get $500 in gifts in return. How about we just save the money, buy ourselves what we really want and just get together and eat dinner? I doubt that’d go over too well since most of American retail business relies on the Christmas holiday shopping season to keep their heads above water. Which brings me back to Thanksgiving. The only thing I like about this holiday? Black Friday! I know that sounds completely asinine, but there are a few good reasons. First, the sales rule. That means I can buy myself stuff that I want/need at greatly reduced prices. Fuck buying shit for other people, I buy for myself only. Second, the malls are always packed with all kinds of beautiful women shopping for stuff… so the scenery’s really nice. Not to mention I have a thing for watching and analyzing people, so it gives me ample opportunity to do so. Best of all, I ride a bicycle so parking is never a problem. All in all, Thanksgiving itself is completely fucking pointless but hey… I’m not really complaining. For the record, it’s called Black Friday not because it’s a bad day but because it was historically when retail businesses finally made it “into the black” (became profitable). If you’re curious about who has what on sale? Try here. That’s all for now, folks… perhaps more to come later if I feel like it. For now, it’s time to go to work.